Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Why Self-Talk Matters

While we usually are careful about what we say to others, how careful are we when we engage in self-talk? Do we choose self-talk words that are kind, caring, and loving? Usually not. 


How many times do we engage in self-talk in an average day? People who study such things offer estimates ranging from 25,000 to 50,000 times a day. 

Think about your own self-talk. How often do you recycle the same internal self-talk monologues: "That was stupid!"; "How could I be so clueless?"; "Why am I such a loser?"; "Life sucks then you die!". On and on it goes.

Every Thought Creates Emotional and Physical Reactions

Every thought, every internal monologue, every time you engage in self-talk, your subconscious mind is listening and your body is responding to every word. 

When you say to yourself things such as, "I'm a loser", your subconscious mind hears that proclamation. Unless you consciously challenge that proclamation, it sails into the negative beliefs bin and contributes to low self-esteem and a disempowering self-image.

When you ask a question in self-talk such as, "Why do I always fail?", your subconscious mind - always the faithful servant - goes on a hunt through your memory bank and negative beliefs bin. It returns answers based on the premise of your self-talk question. 

Everything the subconscious sends up to your conscious mind is in alignment with the underlying assumption of the question. To use a computer term, the subconscious mind operates on the GIGO principle; GIGO is short for, "Garbage In, Garbage Out".

How to Change Self-Talk From Negative to Positive

Here are five easy steps to help you create more empowering self-talk.

  • Set the intention to pay conscious attention to your self-talk.
  • When you notice a self-critical proclamation or question, say boldly in mind or out loud, "STOP!". 
  • Breathe in and exhale slowly.
  • Ask in mind or out loud, "Is there a lesson? What if anything do I choose to do differently?" Wait for an answer.
  • Say in mind or out loud, "I choose now to let it go" as you again breathe in and exhale slowly.

How You Benefit

Taking these simple steps will interrupt the negative self-talk, allow time to put the situation that led to the negative self-talk in better perspective, and calm the emotional and physical stress response created in the wake of the original negative self-talk proclamation or question.

In a future post you'll learn how to properly phrase affirmations and take other steps to build a strong positive self-image. Until then, each time you take the steps you now know to neutralize negative self-talk and calm the stress response you'll be moving toward increased mental clarity, and enhanced emotional and physical well-being.

For more Stress Mastery tips, scroll through other posts on this site and visit our Stress Solutions, LLC site at,

Blessings and light,

Steve Carter

==> P.S. To ensure you never miss a post, join our Stress Mastery community by simply entering your email address in the "Follow by Email" box on the right. No spam, low volume high value.

==> P.P.S. If you would like personal attention to help dissolve emotional issues holding you back, email me at No obligation, zero pressure. We'll talk about your specific situation and identify a way forward that makes sense.

Stress Solutions, LLC | |

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Stay Calm by Staying Safe

One excellent way to stay calm is to take steps to stay safe. In this episode of the Safe Living Today podcast, you'll learn how to track criminal incidents in your neighborhood, work with neighbors to create a safer community, and partner with police to help ensure they are responsive.

Listen to "Stop Crime in Your Neighborhood - Episode 1" on Spreaker.

Stephen Carter
Stress Solutions, LLC | | 

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Create a Moment of Calm and Peace

In this video you'll be led through a short 2 minute 34 second breath and intention meditation to create a calm and peaceful state of mind and body. You can apply this meditation periodically throughout the day to enhance emotional and physical well-being.

For other Stress Mastery videos, visit us at


Steve Carter

Stress Solutions, LLC | |

Thursday, April 27, 2017

How to Solve the Big Meditation Problem

There are thousands of scientific research studies validating the benefits meditation can have on physical, emotional, and mental well-being. 

We all know we should be meditating, but life happens. Despite our best intentions, the actual doing gets hijacked by busy mornings, crying children, and hectic schedules. After missing one day and then another, our resolve dissolves and our meditation practice stops entirely.

There's an App for That

To paraphrase a term associated with cell phones and computers, "there's an app for that". In this case, "app" stands for applying Passive Breath Meditation (PBM) during your busy day. 

PBM allows you to solve the "No time for meditation" problem is a simple, elegant way that will have you back on the meditation wagon for good. Your Body - Mind - Spirit will say, "Thank you" in many beautiful, well-being enhancing ways.

Here's the 5-minute micro-training video.


Blessings and light,

Steve Carter

Stress Solutions, LLC | 

P.S. To be notified of other upcoming holistic health, stress mastery, and emotional well-being webinars and videos, visit and look on the lower right of the page for the "Join Our Energy and Holistic Healing Family" sign-up.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Learn to Easily Experience Positive Emotional States

A few days ago I created a video based on a live presentation done in March. The video's title, "Positive EFT and Beyond..." covers a trifecta of three simple methods to achieve positive emotional states of your choice. 

Those three methods are:

- Positive EFT;
- Power Posing; and,
- Anchoring.

This video is short on theory and long on how to actually do and use these three methods.

You'll find the 34-minute instructional guide below.

Blessings and light,

Steve Carter

Stress Solutions, LLC | 

P.S. To be notified of other upcoming holistic health, stress mastery, and emotional well-being webinars and videos, visit and look on the lower right of the page for the "Join Our Energy and Holistic Healing Family" sign-up.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Let Power Posing Supercharge Your Speaking Confidence

When I was a kid, I never missed an episode of "Superman". Faster than a speeding bullet; able to leap tall buildings at a single bound; the man of steel fought for truth, justice, and the American way. 

As I watched each show, I would assume that signature Superman stance and feel as though I too, was a man of steel.

But alas, as time passes we "grow up". We learn that there really is no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or Superman. As I "grew up", the idea that I could take on super powers faded from memory.

My Rediscovery of Superman

One day in 2013, I discovered an intriguing TED Talk entitled, "Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are". The presenter was a Harvard social psychologist named  Dr. Amy Cuddy.

As Dr. Cuddy's talk unfolded, she described her research about the effects posture and stance exert on the brain, mind, and body. She showed photos of birds, chimps, and other animals assuming postures of dominant power and submissive weakness.

She and her team of researchers wondered what the biochemical and emotional effects were on human beings when they assumed what she called Power Poses compared to when they assumed postures of submission and defeat.

What Dr. Cuddy Discovered

The results of her team's experiments showed that when you consciously change your posture, your emotions and physiology come along for the ride. As we assume postures of shrinking and defeat, our cortisol (a hormone associated with fear and the stress) level rises sharply and testosterone (a hormone associated with confidence and a felt sense of power) drops significantly.

When, however, we assume strong, expansive Power Poses, our cortisol level falls and the level of testosterone increases. We feel more powerful and confident. The positive biochemical and emotional effects of just two minutes of Power Posing can last for hours.

What is a Power Pose?

Examples of Power Poses include hands raised in victory as a runner crosses the finish line in first place, the dance and celebration when a football player catches a pass in the end zone, and the expansive open arms when an entertainer receives a massive ovation from the audience.

In these examples, the successful act preceded the Power Pose. It turns out, however, we can consciously choose to assume a Power Pose and experience the same physical and emotional changes as those who won the race, caught the pass, and received a standing ovation.

Power Posing and Public Speaking Confidence

A good percentage of my consulting work with clients involves helping them overcome the fear of public speaking. As I studied Dr. Cuddy's work, it became clear teaching Power Posing to clients was a way to help them achieve a mindset of communication confidence.

Having taught Power Posing to scores of clients over the past couple of years, I regularly hear from them about how effective Power Posing has been in helping them feel confident and powerful going into public speaking and meeting situations. It's effective and simple to do and works like magic.

How You Can Power Pose for Greater Confidence

  • Find a private place where you won't be disturbed for two or three minutes. Begin by standing up tall, shoulders back and head up. Take three comfortable slow breathes in and out.
  • Bring to mind a picture of Superman, Wonder Women, or another superhero of your choosing. Notice how your superhero stands and notice how confident he or she appears.
  • Stand with feet slightly more than shoulder-width apart. Place your hands on your hips. Think how your mother stood as she was about to scold you when you were a child.
  • Raise your head slightly and look up toward the sky and then bring your eyes back down looking straight out.
  • Stand tall, open your chest, and breathe confidently from the diaphragm.
  • Really get into the felt sense of the Power Pose. Feel the strength, energy, and confidence rise in your body.
  • Hold the Power Pose for about two minutes and end it by opening and raising your arms in a winner's pose saying emphatically, "YES! YES! YES!..."
You're now set to enter your public speaking event, meeting, difficult conversation, or any other activity that calls for you to feel powerful and confident.

Blessings and light,

Steve Carter

=> P.S. Learn How to Combine Positive EFT and Power Posing.

I'll be conducting the 1-day Positive EFT class in Ellicott City, Maryland on Sunday, 30 April 2017. As a bonus for attending that event, you will learn how to incorporate Power Posing with Positive EFT to more easily earn more money, enhance emotional and physical well-being, and experience a happier life. 


Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Good Stress - Bad Stress - and 3-Step Mindful Breathing

Is There Such a Thing as "Good Stress"?

It's important to make a distinction between a stress experience that can be positive and another that can be problematic - and how to deal with the latter.

The Eustress Experience

A visit to tells us that a type of stress called "Eustress" is defined as, "stress that is deemed healthful or giving one the feeling of fulfillment"

Examples include situations such as learning a new skill, preparing for your wedding, or those "butterflies" that come just before you're about to make a presentation. Eustress is episodic rather than chronic; it is typically associated with a positive change or experience.

The Distress Experience tells us that "Distress" the "other" stress experience - includes, "great pain, anxiety, or sorrow; acute physical or mental suffering; affliction; trouble". 

While there are an array of differences between eustress and distress, two of the most important are the duration and the meaning we give to the stress sensations. Typically, eustress situations are short lived (example: going on that "first date") and have an element of fun or positive excitement.

Distressful situations typically drag on for what seems like forever. Examples include working for a nasty boss, a lack of money to pay the bills every month, or being the caregiver for a seriously ill family member. There is no sense of fun, adventure, or positive excitement when we experience distress.

How Much Stress is Too Much?

One good way to determine when we are in a chronically distressed state is to monitor thoughts, emotions, and energy. Chronic distress wears on our sense of well-being and robs us of vitality. Our thoughts, mood, and general disposition turn negative. 

If your mood and sense of physical and emotional well-being turn south and you recognize your relationships are suffering, it's time to take action to manage and ultimately master the chronic distress experience called the Stress Repose.

How Do I Begin to Master Stress?

There are countless ways to mitigate and ultimately master the Stress Response. One of the easiest ways is to build short, mindful breathing breaks into your daily routine. This does not require you to sit on a cushion, OM, or spend hours in meditation. For most people, extended daily meditation isn't an option.

3-Step Mindful Breathing Practice

As a start toward your Stress Mastery way of living, I suggest doing the following simple Mindful Breathing practice.

  • Set a timer or email reminders to alert you at least once an hour (once every 30-minutes is better) that it's time to take a break.
  • Close your eyes for 60 - 90 seconds and simply breathe. As you breathe say in mind or out loud, "In" as you breathe in and then say "Out" as you exhale. The idea is to give your attention to the breath as you breathe in and out.
  • If your attention drifts toward thoughts or physical sensations other than your breath, as soon as you notice the change, simply return your attention to your breathing.

After completing your 60 to 90-seconds of Mindful Breathing, open your eyes, stretch, yawn and return to your activities renewed and refreshed.

When you complete your first Mindful Breathing practice, congratulate yourself! You've taken an important step towards a practice of Mindfulness Meditation and a calmer, healthier you.

Improved Well-being With Each Day of Mindful Breathing Practice

You'll begin to notice positive brain | mind | body benefits of Mindful Breathing practice within a couple of days. Those emotional and psychical benefits will grow with each day of practice. Aim for at least 10 to 15-minutes of Mindful Breathing in total each day, accumulated one to two minutes at a time. 

If you would like to practice Mindful Breathing for more time each day, so much the better. 

Blessings, light, and peace,

Steve Carter

==> P.S. What is the Best Meditation Practice for You? 

In a few weeks time, I'll be presenting a free webinar where you'll learn how to choose the best meditation practice for you. 

To be among the first to be notified when the event details (again, the webinar is free) are announced, go to and enter your email address under "Join Our Energy and Holistic Healing Family" field on the lower right of the page. This is a no spam, no obligation zone.