Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Why Self-Talk Matters

While we usually are careful about what we say to others, how careful are we when we engage in self-talk? Do we choose self-talk words that are kind, caring, and loving? Usually not. 


How many times do we engage in self-talk in an average day? People who study such things offer estimates ranging from 25,000 to 50,000 times a day. 

Think about your own self-talk. How often do you recycle the same internal self-talk monologues: "That was stupid!"; "How could I be so clueless?"; "Why am I such a loser?"; "Life sucks then you die!". On and on it goes.

Every Thought Creates Emotional and Physical Reactions

Every thought, every internal monologue, every time you engage in self-talk, your subconscious mind is listening and your body is responding to every word. 

When you say to yourself things such as, "I'm a loser", your subconscious mind hears that proclamation. Unless you consciously challenge that proclamation, it sails into the negative beliefs bin and contributes to low self-esteem and a disempowering self-image.

When you ask a question in self-talk such as, "Why do I always fail?", your subconscious mind - always the faithful servant - goes on a hunt through your memory bank and negative beliefs bin. It returns answers based on the premise of your self-talk question. 

Everything the subconscious sends up to your conscious mind is in alignment with the underlying assumption of the question. To use a computer term, the subconscious mind operates on the GIGO principle; GIGO is short for, "Garbage In, Garbage Out".

How to Change Self-Talk From Negative to Positive

Here are five easy steps to help you create more empowering self-talk.

  • Set the intention to pay conscious attention to your self-talk.
  • When you notice a self-critical proclamation or question, say boldly in mind or out loud, "STOP!". 
  • Breathe in and exhale slowly.
  • Ask in mind or out loud, "Is there a lesson? What if anything do I choose to do differently?" Wait for an answer.
  • Say in mind or out loud, "I choose now to let it go" as you again breathe in and exhale slowly.

How You Benefit

Taking these simple steps will interrupt the negative self-talk, allow time to put the situation that led to the negative self-talk in better perspective, and calm the emotional and physical stress response created in the wake of the original negative self-talk proclamation or question.

In a future post you'll learn how to properly phrase affirmations and take other steps to build a strong positive self-image. Until then, each time you take the steps you now know to neutralize negative self-talk and calm the stress response you'll be moving toward increased mental clarity, and enhanced emotional and physical well-being.

For more Stress Mastery tips, scroll through other posts on this site and visit our Stress Solutions, LLC site at,

Blessings and light,

Steve Carter

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