Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Best Way to ID Negative Self-Talk and Change it Immediately

Do you talk to yourself? Of course you do. We all do. 

Is your running self-talk commentary empowering or disempowering? Does it support you or hold you back? There is an easy way to find out.

Why Self-Talk Matters

Why does this matter? It matters because your subconscious is both the source of - and audience for - self-talk whether positive or negative.

In addition to your mind and self-identity paying attention, self-talk can lead to biochemical changes in your body that affect your immune system, emotions, and cellular functions. Every cell in your body is listening. Self-talk can propel you toward your goals or place impassable boulders in your road to success.

What Research Tells Us

When you enter the term, “self-talk”, in Google Scholar service, you’ll find about 39,000 citations for studies that have looked at the role of self-talk in physical health, personal performance, and emotional well-being. We see a strong correlation between consistent patterns of negative or positive self-talk and corresponding changes in physical and emotional well-being and personal performance.

The Best Way to ID Your Negative Self-Talk

Do you need to constantly monitor your thoughts every minute? Absolutely not. Life should flow freely and so too should your thinking. 

If, however, you want to get a picture of your positive and negative thought habits, there is an easy way to do that: simply set a timer on your smartphone or set reminders as popups or email notices using your online calendar (Google Calendar, Yahoo Calendar, etc.) to alert you every 30 or 45 minutes.

With each alert, jot down a very brief description of the thought that was in mind just prior to the alert. Keep a list (or even better a journal) over several days. Add a “+” indicator for positive thoughts; a “-” for negative thoughts; and, a “0” for neutral thoughts.

Stay with this process for about a week. At the end of the week, review your list and count the “+”, “-”, and “0” entries. A couple of seconds worth of math and you’ll have the percentage of thoughts that fit into each of the three categories. Typically, most people will have 70 - 80% of thoughts in negative territory. 

What to Do When You Notice Negative Self-Talk

Since you know self-talk can affect your health, happiness, and performance, you have a chance to choose a new habit: every time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, scream (in your mind or - if your social situation allows - out loud) “STOP!”.

You’ll immediately notice a brief silence of mind. Fill that silence with a question that changes the direction of your thoughts.

For example, if you catch yourself thinking something like, 

“My boss is a jerk! She’s an idiot”, 

yell, “STOP!” and then say, for example,   

“OK, she’s obviously super stressed. What can I do that will help me understand what’s going on and maybe even help her as well?”.

Wait for ideas to come. They will. 

Choose the best way forward and proceed accordingly.

You’ll feel better immediately.

Over time, you will be less reactive and more proactive in your thinking. Your stress level will go down and your sense of emotional well-being will go up.

You benefit and so too will your family, friends, and co-workers.

How do you manage self-talk? Share your ideas in the comments below.


Steve Carter  

Stress Solutions, LLC | www.EFT-MD.com | StressMastery.Blogspot.com |

P.S. If you would like to talk about your situation and what life enhancements you would like to experience, contact us through the "Contact Us" page at http://www.EFT-MD.com.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

The 2 Key Questions to Discover the Hidden Good in Unwanted Surprises

One of the most beneficial actions you can take to set a positive intent for your day is voice an affirmation. 

First, you immediately begin to notice circumstances and experiences that align with your intention - circumstances and experiences you would have likely not noticed absent your affirmation. Secondly, it acts as a command to your subconscious to bring about the circumstances and experiences that meet your intention.

As an example of how this can work, I share my journal entry for today about choosing to discover the hidden good in unwanted surprises and the two key questions to discover the hidden good in those unwanted surprises. 


Today's Affirmation: I choose to discover the hidden good in unwanted surprises.

As good as it is to experience pleasant surprises, true changes in perspective, new ideas, and new insights about ourselves and life are the fruits of unwanted surprises. 

The Two Key Questions to Discover the Hidden Good in Unwanted Surprises

If we roll through our initial reactions and reach a state of acceptance of what is, we are then positioned to answer the two most important questions we can ask about unpleasant surprises:

  • What is the hidden benefit of this experience?
  • How can I use this experience in ways that improve my day, my life, and perhaps the world?

What Can I Do to Make This Choice a Reality?

We know from research that an affirmation is most effective when it's made before a charged event occurs. A properly formed affirmation sets in motion a positive mindset that acknowledges we have the right temperament, will, and ability to navigate any storm and turn it to our advantage.

The Secret is in the Questions

Questions focus attention and open the conscious and subconscious minds to new pathways, new perspectives, and new ways of seeing and being in the world. 

Today, I choose to look at unwanted surprises as a precious gift wrapped in coarse unattractive paper.

Today, I choose to look beyond the wrapping to discover the gift waiting patiently to serve.

Today, I choose to discover the hidden good in unwanted surprises.

Why not have a go at journaling your thoughts, insights, and actions that emerge from this or another affirmation? It's fun and it's a powerful path to self-discovery.


Steve Carter

Stress Solutions, LLC | www.EFT-MD.com | StressMastery.blogspot.com | Steve@theHealersCircle.us | 804-677-6772

P.S. To join our Healers Circle family and receive low volume, high-value messages on Stress Mastery and holistic methods, visit the Education Resource page on our EFT-MD.com site by clicking HERE.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Get Your Motor Runnin'... A Story of Emotional Freedom

Waves of powerful emotions swept over Mary as she drove down her quiet residential street at 5:00 A.M. She felt intense fear, then anger, then sadness. Despite these cascading painful emotions, she was determined to complete the 12-hour trip to St. Augustine and be free.

Why was she going? 

To answer that question, we need to go back in time about three months. Her husband announced he was leaving her. He had "fallen in love" with his secretary and he no longer wanted Mary as a wife. He was leaving her and both of their young teenage sons.

As the husband was leaving, he turned around and said, 

"You'll never make it without me. You can't keep the home, pay the bills, or do anything else. Just sign everything over to me. It's the only way you can survive."

He turned back toward the door and left.

After a few weeks of counseling, Mary decided she needed to do something she had never done in her life: she was going to take a long trip by herself. She was going to prove to her husband - and to herself - she didn't need him. She didn't need him to be a husband. She didn't need him to be a companion. She didn't need him to drive. She didn't need him at all.

As she left the community and pulled out onto the main road leading to the interstate, the voice in her head started to shout, 

"He's right! You can't make it. It's not safe! Turn around! Go back home!".

The voice got louder and louder: 

"Maybe he was right. What if I break down? No one is here to help me. I can't do this!" 

She felt the fear growing by the second.

As she left the familiar comfort of the local road and entered the ramp leading to I-95 South, she turned on the radio and tuned it to her favorite Classic Rock station. When her hand touched the volume knob, she turned it as high as it would go. She had to drown out the negative voice shouting in her head.

 She heard the beginning notes and then the words of a song by Steppenwolf...

"Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space..."

As the words and music of, "Born to be Wild" filled the car, she instantly knew the universe was telling her, "You CAN do this... You CAN depend on yourself... You WILL make it!". 

And she did. 

Twelve hours later as she triumphantly drove into the driveway of her aunt's home in St. Augustine, she knew something vitally important had happened.

From that moment forward, her confidence grew stronger day by day. The fearful voice still made an appearance every now and then over the months that followed. But when she heard that voice, she simply turned on her Classic Rock radio memory, and sang out loud, 

"Get your motor runnin...".

"Born to be Wild" became Mary's freedom anthem. 

Months later as I worked with Mary as a client to help her deal with issues unrelated to her now former husband, we used the power of Steppenwolf's song to empower her in other areas of life.

Do you have a musical freedom anthem? What songs create such positive energy throughout your body that when you hear the music, it washes through you; empowers you; creates such joy that there is never space for a negative thought.

Choose Your Own Musical Freedom Anthem!

Why not choose your own musical freedom anthem? Why not hum, sing, and then belt it out loud to energize your life? You'll notice the difference every time you do it.

No song comes to mind? Feel free to borrow Mary's. Have a listen to Steppenwolf's, "Born to be Wild". She won't mind a bit.

Find Your Emotional Freedom:

For more tools, tips, and techniques to achieve emotional freedom, join our Energy and Holistic Healing Family at http://www.eft-md.com/education-resource.html.

With love,

Steve Carter

Stress Solutions, LLC