Thursday, April 1, 2021

5 Powerful Ways to Let Go of Guilt

Photo credit: Pensive woman - Pixabay image
Guilt is a difficult emotion to experience. It can be triggered by something we did or said, but it can also arise from situations that are out of our control. Regardless of circumstances, it's vital for emotional wellbeing to let go of guilt.

Note: You can listen to the companion podcast episode at the bottom of the page. Click the arrow to play.

Letting go of guilt will allow you to live your life without worrying about what others think or how they might judge you. You deserve to live freely and without any regrets!


An Important Question to Start the Release Process

An important question to ask yourself whenever you’re feeling guilty is:
Did I really do something wrong or am I reacting to the fear of being judged by other people?
Allow yourself the necessary time to process this important question. If, after thinking about the question, you conclude what happened was either misunderstood or outside of your control, you’ve taken an important step toward letting go of a burden that isn’t truly yours to carry.

Determine What Actions - If Any - Are Needed

If you did do or say something you’re sorry for, ask yourself what actions do I need to take now? If an apology is warranted, waste no time in contacting whoever you need to contact, acknowledge your mistake, and say a heart-felt, “I’m sorry".


The person you offer your apology to may or may not be ready to accept your apology and forgive you for whatever mistake was made. Whether the person accepts your apology or not, recognize and tell yourself you did everything you could do to heal the relationship.


Another important question to ask is, “What did I learn from this situation and what will I do differently in the future?”.

This question directs your attention to where it belongs: this moment and the future.


What’s done is done. You’ve taken whatever action is necessary to rebuild the relationship and you’ve identified any lessons learned and charted a way of behaving ongoing.


The ultimate goal is self-forgiveness if you made a mistake or the acknowledgement that you did nothing wrong and proceeding accordingly.

How to Process and Release Guilt and Other Disempowering Thoughts and Feelings

Here are five ways to help you gain perspective and process thoughts and feelings that can arise when you’re feeling guilt:


Spend time in nature. Research tells us getting outside and spending time in nature is a powerful way to ground you physically and emotionally as you reconnect with Mother Earth. The Japanese name for this calming activity is called Forest Bathing. Forest Bathing can help you process challenging thoughts and feelings.


Journal your thoughts and feelings. The act of recording thoughts and feelings in a journal provides you the emotional space to explore beliefs and fears that may be behind or contributing to feelings of guilt. Give yourself permission to simply write whatever comes up for you during your journaling sessions.


Talk with a trusted confidant. Talk with a trusted confidant about the situation that gave rise to feelings of guilt. Remind the person you’re speaking with that his or her role is simply to listen without judgement. You’re not asking your confidant to validate your feelings or judgements. His or her role is to listen and ask questions if absolutely necessary to help clarify your thinking.


Apply Energy Psychology methods. Use one or more of the Energy Psychology techniques you’ll find on the https://www.FREA.support website to release disempowering emotions that may be present in the wake of a situation giving rise to feelings of guilt.


Get professional help if needed. If disempowering thoughts and feelings persist you may want to schedule one or more sessions with a professional practitioner.

What is in and Out of Your Control

Remember the important question we discussed earlier:
Did I really do something wrong or am I reacting to the fear of being judged by other people?

Remind yourself if the situation was out of your control, the appropriate decision is acknowledge that fact and move forward free of guilt and other disempowering emotions.

Recap of Five Ways to Process and Release Guilt and Other Disempowering Emotions

  • Spend time in nature;

  • Journal thoughts and feelings;

  • Talk with a trusted confidant;

  • Apply Energy Psychology methods available at https://www.FREA.support;

  • Get professional help if needed.

Remember, the ultimate goal is self-forgiveness if you made a mistake or the acknowledgement that you did nothing wrong and proceeding accordingly.


Stephen Carter, CEO of Stress Solutions, LLC.

Direct comments or questions to CarterMethod@gmail.com.

Thursday, March 11, 2021

Picture Perfect Breathing for Fast Stress Relief


If you've experienced one or more traumatic events or you are prone to chronic stress, it’s important to engage in self-care activities including monitoring stress levels and taking steps to neutralize stress before it becomes overwhelming.

In this blogpost and companion podcast episode, you’ll discover a simple, effective breath technique you can use anytime to lower stress and create a sense of relaxation and calm.
Picture Perfect Breathing

Applying Picture Perfect Breathing (PPB) for 60 seconds or more allows mind and body to let go of tension and disempowering thoughts as your brain and body are refreshed and renewed.


With only one to two minutes of Picture Perfect Breathing, you'll be ready to engage in whatever activities are at hand feeling great. Engaging in PPB periodically throughout the day is a great way to maintain a sense of calm and control.


One important item: If you have asthma, COPD, or other breathing or lung problem, please talk with your doctor before doing Picture Perfect Breathing.
Here Are the Steps for Picture Perfect Breathing

  • Begin with a yawn, sigh, and stretch. Really give it a good stretch, sigh, and yawn even if you don't feel like yawning.

  • Choose a framed picture (preferably a picture of a calming scene), a doorway, or even your computer monitor or laptop screen. You'll be using the corners of your focus object and moving from corner to corner as you breathe.

  • Allow your gaze to focus on the lower left corner of your focus object. Allow a gentle, unstrained focus. As you gaze at the lower left corner, inhale for the count of 5, which represents about 5 seconds.

  • Gently hold your breath as you shift your gaze to the upper left corner of your focus object and count to 5.

  • Shift your gaze to the upper right corner of your focus object and exhale gently through pursed lips for the count of 5.

  • Shift your gaze to the lower right corner of your focus object as you relax into the empty breath sensation for the count of 5. If you feel an urge to breathe before reaching 5, go ahead and do so. With just a few times through the process, you will likely feel comfortable mindfully allowing the empty breath sensation to simply be for the count of 5.

Take one or more normal breaths. and then repeat the process for a total of 3 to 5 cycles. Each cycle will take about 20 seconds (5 seconds at each of the 4 corners), so 3 cycles will take about a minute.


Finish with another good yawn, sigh, and stretch and then return to your activities refreshed and rejuvenated.
Guided Picture Perfect Breathing Experience

PPB was the featured technique in the episode linked below of the, "Easy Stress Cures" podcast. Simply click the white triangle on the podcast player below, listen to the episode, and experience the positive mind and body benefits waiting for you.




For more "Easy Stress Cures" podcast episodes visit the, “Mind Over Stress Show” website at http://MindOverStress.us. 


To learn about Stress Solutions, LLC and how to apply Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to dissolve stress and create empowering beliefs and a happier, more successful life, visit, https://www.EFT-MD.com.

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Immediately Improve Your Mood With This Simple Action

To listen to this new, "Less Stress More Joy" podcast episode, click the player below or go to https://www.spreaker.com/episode/17670713




Can a Forced Smile Change Mood and Emotion?


A large meta study by researchers at the University of Tenn. and Texas A&M looked at 138 scientific studies with more than 11,000 participants to determine if facial expressions - including the simple smile - can affect mood and emotional state. 

The answer, "absolutely yes!"

Results may be short lived, but there are measurable changes in mood and emotion when you smile, frown, or scowl.


4 Easy Actions to Improve Emotional Wellbeing


This episode summarizes study findings and offers three easy actions to improve your emotional wellbeing.

They are:

  • Take periodic breaks throughout the day. Stop what you’re doing, sit or stand comfortably, and take take three comfortable breaths as you yawn, sigh, and stretch.
  • Smile! Smile whether you feel like smiling or not. Hold the smile for at least 15 to 20 seconds or more.
  • Say the word, “Peace” and allow the vibration of the word to flow through your body as you smile.
  • Again, breathe comfortably as you yawn, sigh, and stretch and smile again before returning to your activities. 


For more Stress Mastery methods visit the, “Mind Over Stress Show” website at http://MindOverStress.us. 

Stephen Carter



Stress Solutions, LLC | www.EFT-MD.com | Podcast: www.MindOverStress.us 



Here are study related links:

"The Key to Happiness? Just Smile Study Suggests"; https://www.studyfinds.org/key-to-happiness-smiling-more-frequently/

"A Meta-analysis of the facial feedback literature: Effects of facial feedback on emotional experience are small and variable"; https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fbul0000194





Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Choosing the Right Mindset for This Stressful Time

With all of the uncertainty and fear around the coronavirus pandemic, how are you coping? Are you reacting with fear or responding with a plan?


Note: to listen to the, "Mind Over Stress" podcast covering how to choose the right mindset to get you through this challenging time, click the embedded podcast player below. The full blogpost follows.



As I write this post, the world is dealing with a massive coronavirus pandemic affecting directly more than a million people across the globe. Millions more are on various types of stay at home requirements.


There is a nonstop drumbeat of government and media messaging pointing to dire human and economic consequences. In the U.S., three years of stock market gains were wiped out in a matter of weeks. Schools are closed, toilet paper, milk, and an array other items have been stripped from store shelves. 

People are being laid off and many who continue to work are doing so from their homes. In the U.S., the federal government passed a $2.2 trillion relief package to help soften the economic blow.  There is talk that yet another round of relief money will be needed. It is a challenging time for all of us.

The Big Question: What Does This Mean for Me?


As with any major event, our brains are wired to ask, consciously or unconsciously, “What does this mean for me?”

Initially, we may react with a strong fear response because of confusion and uncertainty. 

After the initial shock, it's easy to enter into disempowered thinking patterns marked by thoughts such as, 

“ This can’t be happening. This is so unfair. Whose fault is this? How could ’they’ allow this to happen? I’m going to starve! I’m going to die. We’re all going to die!" ... and so forth. 

You have undoubtedly seen posts on social media founded on fear and blame.  

Let's Look at the Bigger COVID-19 Picture


I encourage you to look at the bigger picture of the coronavirus situation. This doesn’t mean ignoring or minimizing the impact, but it does mean looking beyond the headlines and social media noise.

As I write this post, the Johns Hopkins University Coronavirus Resource Center reports there are nearly 1.5 million reported cases world wide. Of those cases, there are nearly 82,000 deaths. 

In one positive glimmer of good news, nearly 275,000 people have recovered. 

The vast majority of those who died had underlying health problems before contracting COVID-19. Some health experts suggest there is larger number of people never tested who had the virus and recovered, making the recovery rate even higher.

It’s vital we continue taking needed precautions such as social distancing and other measures recommended by health officials. That’s simply common sense.

Why a Fear and Blame Mindset Makes a Difficult Situation Far Worse


This does not mean we need to be frozen in place or or stay stuck in a fear and blame reaction mindset. If we do that we loose the ability to make the best decisions we can make given the situation we face. 

Why? 

Because when the brain perceives danger, physiological changes happen to include redirection of blood away from those parts of the brain where conscious thinking and reasoning occur. In addition, our immune and healing systems can be weakened. These are the very systems we need to help us prevent or fight the COVID-19 virus.

How to Create a Response Mindset Rather than a Reaction Mindset


If you find yourself in a constant flow of disempowering fear and blame thinking, I encourage you to recognize what is happening. Stop, allow yourself to take a walk, engage in calm deep breathing, and decide to ask yourself a few empowering questions to create a response mindset rather than a stress reaction mindset. 

Say to yourself, 

"I recognize there are circumstances I can control, circumstances I may be able to influence, and circumstances beyond my control”

Early on, focus entirely on those circumstances you can control. Once you’ve made all the decisions and taken all the actions you can take in this first category, you can then consider those circumstances you may be able to influence. Give no thought or effort to circumstances beyond your control.

This in effect means you’re creating an action plan rather than reacting from a mindset of fear and blame.

Examples of a Response Mindset


As examples, in relation to the “circumstances I can control” category, you can take action to ensure you have an adequate supply of food and other essentials. Make a list of what’s on hand and then determine what’s needed. This does not, by the way, mean you should buy enough toilet paper for the next three years. Remember to include pet needs if that applies.

The next item on your action plan might be having calm, supportive conversations with your children and perhaps others in your extended family. With children, reassure them we are going to get through this situation. 

Listen to any fears they express in a supportive way, and again reassure them we will get through the situation. 

Talk to your children about how they're doing with school work and how they will continue to learn as we get through this challenging period. 

Remind them about the importance frequent hand washing and of social distancing when they’re outside.

Item 3 of your plan may be to make arrangements to create or improve an appropriate work at home environment if that applies. If you’ve been laid off, your next step may be to apply for unemployment or otherwise make necessary financial decisions to help you through the coming weeks.

I suggest you create a written plan and adjust the plan as circumstances change. 

Summary of Stress Reduction Suggestions

  • Choose a response mindset rather than a reaction mindset;
  • Keep stress as low as possible to ensure you’re at your best in brain, mind, and body;
  • Recognize what you can control and what is out of your control;
  • Focus on decisions and actions within your control;
  • Create a written plan - even if that is only done in short bullet point fashion - and adjust your plan, decisions, and actions as circumstances evolve.

In summary, I encourage you to choose a response mindset rather than a reaction mindset. 

It’s vital to keep stress as low as possible to ensure you’re at your best in brain, mind, and body. 

Recognize what you can control and what is out of your control. Focus on decisions and actions within your control with a written plan you adjust as circumstances change.


Stephen Carter

CEO Stress Solutions, LLC | www.EFT-MD.com | Podcast: www.MindOverStress.us