5 Powerful Ways to Let Go of Guilt

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Guilt is a difficult emotion to experience. It can be triggered by something we did or said, but it can also arise from situations that are out of our control. Regardless of circumstances, it's vital for emotional wellbeing to let go of guilt.

Note: You can listen to the companion podcast episode at the bottom of the page. Click the arrow to play.

Letting go of guilt will allow you to live your life without worrying about what others think or how they might judge you. You deserve to live freely and without any regrets!

An Important Question to Start the Release Process

An important question to ask yourself whenever you’re feeling guilty is:
Did I really do something wrong or am I reacting to the fear of being judged by other people?
Allow yourself the necessary time to process this important question. If, after thinking about the question, you conclude what happened was either misunderstood or outside of your control, you’ve taken an important step toward letting go of a burden that isn’t truly yours to carry.

Determine What Actions - If Any - Are Needed

If you did do or say something you’re sorry for, ask yourself what actions do I need to take now? If an apology is warranted, waste no time in contacting whoever you need to contact, acknowledge your mistake, and say a heart-felt, “I’m sorry".

The person you offer your apology to may or may not be ready to accept your apology and forgive you for whatever mistake was made. Whether the person accepts your apology or not, recognize and tell yourself you did everything you could do to heal the relationship.

Another important question to ask is, “What did I learn from this situation and what will I do differently in the future?”.

This question directs your attention to where it belongs: this moment and the future.

What’s done is done. You’ve taken whatever action is necessary to rebuild the relationship and you’ve identified any lessons learned and charted a way of behaving ongoing.

The ultimate goal is self-forgiveness if you made a mistake or the acknowledgement that you did nothing wrong and proceeding accordingly.

How to Process and Release Guilt and Other Disempowering Thoughts and Feelings

Here are five ways to help you gain perspective and process thoughts and feelings that can arise when you’re feeling guilt:

Spend time in nature. Research tells us getting outside and spending time in nature is a powerful way to ground you physically and emotionally as you reconnect with Mother Earth. The Japanese name for this calming activity is called Forest Bathing. Forest Bathing can help you process challenging thoughts and feelings.

Journal your thoughts and feelings. The act of recording thoughts and feelings in a journal provides you the emotional space to explore beliefs and fears that may be behind or contributing to feelings of guilt. Give yourself permission to simply write whatever comes up for you during your journaling sessions.

Talk with a trusted confidant. Talk with a trusted confidant about the situation that gave rise to feelings of guilt. Remind the person you’re speaking with that his or her role is simply to listen without judgement. You’re not asking your confidant to validate your feelings or judgements. His or her role is to listen and ask questions if absolutely necessary to help clarify your thinking.

Apply Energy Psychology methods. Use one or more of the Energy Psychology techniques you’ll find on the https://www.FREA.support website to release disempowering emotions that may be present in the wake of a situation giving rise to feelings of guilt.

Get professional help if needed. If disempowering thoughts and feelings persist you may want to schedule one or more sessions with a professional practitioner.

What is in and Out of Your Control

Remember the important question we discussed earlier:
Did I really do something wrong or am I reacting to the fear of being judged by other people?

Remind yourself if the situation was out of your control, the appropriate decision is acknowledge that fact and move forward free of guilt and other disempowering emotions.

Recap of Five Ways to Process and Release Guilt and Other Disempowering Emotions

• Spend time in nature;

• Journal thoughts and feelings;

• Talk with a trusted confidant;

• Apply Energy Psychology methods available at https://www.FREA.support;

• Get professional help if needed.

Remember, the ultimate goal is self-forgiveness if you made a mistake or the acknowledgement that you did nothing wrong and proceeding accordingly.

Stephen Carter, CEO of Stress Solutions, LLC.

Direct comments or questions to CarterMethod@gmail.com.

Break the Chains of Impulsive Behavior

Whether we’re thinking about having a second helping of dessert, buying a new expensive iPhone 7 when the existing phone works just fine, or choosing between an expensive destination wedding and a more modest ceremony close to home, too often we choose short-term immediate gratification at the expense of longer term bigger benefits.

Is there something we can do to help us break the chains of short-term impulsive thinking and behavior?

Yes, there is.

The Brain Science

Traditionally, self-control models look at brain processes in the prefrontal cortex associated with impulse control and emotions when attempting to explain why we so often make decisions favoring immediate short-term gain rather than opting for greater longer term benefits.

In a recent *study conducted by the University of Zurich and the University of Dusseldorf, researchers discovered another brain region called the temporo-parietal junction plays an important role in self-control by directing attention to the needs of a “Future Self”.

This discovery helps explain why a process I often use with clients called “Future Pacing” can be so effective in helping stop problem thinking and behaviors such as, low confidence, compulsive overeating, or other disempowering patterns.

Creating a “New You” With Future Pacing

Here’s how to put Future Pacing to work in your life:

• Find a quiet, private, and comfortable place where you won’t be bothered for at least five minutes. Close your eyes and - as best you can - enter a calm and relaxed state.

• Bring to mind a visualization of how you want to handle a situation that, in the past, you handled poorly.

• Create a mind-movie of you handling that same situation in a way that aligns with your chosen new reality. Play that movie on the big screen in your Theatre of Mind. Allow the pictures to be big, bright, and bold. Give your mind-movie a title in alignment with your chosen new reality such as, “Confident Speaker”, “Healthy Eater”, or “Loving Partner”.

• Add sound as appropriate. Hear others complimenting you on your chosen behavior. Hear yourself affirm how good you feel as you act in alignment with your new chosen reality.

• Allow yourself to see, hear, and feel this chosen new, ongoing reality from a third person point of view (you’re watching yourself as if you are in a movie audience), a second person point of view (you’re in the movie, but looking at yourself through the eyes of another character in the movie), and a first person point of view (you’re looking through your own eyes). Really make the visualizations, big, bold, and empowering.

• Allow your “Success Mind-Movie” to play for several minutes and then return to your normal activities.

Repeat this Future Pacing process three or four times a day for at least three weeks and then periodically ongoing until this new behavior becomes your default habitual way of behaving.

When faced with a situation that in the past may have resulted in short-term impulsive behavior, a quick visit in mind to a short section of your Future Pacing mind-movie will be all you need to direct attention and behavior to your new reality. You are "Re-minding" a chosen, empowering way of being.

Remember, you’re creating a script and then rehearsing the staring role as a happier, healthier new you. In just a few short weeks - or even in a few short days - your mind-movie can become your new way of living.

If you would like to learn more about our Future Pacing process and other ways of moving from Stress to Success, visit us at http://www.EFT-MD.com.

Blessings, light, and love,

Steve Carter

Stress Solutions, LLC | www.EFT-MD.com

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Important note: This post and all other posts on this blog are for informational purposes only. Please consult an appropriate licensed health care provider for any medical, emotional, or psychological issues of concern.

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*Journal Reference:

A. Soutschek, C. C. Ruff, T. Strombach, T. Kalenscher, P. N. Tobler.Brain stimulation reveals crucial role of overcoming self-centeredness in self-control. Science Advances, 2016; 2 (10): e1600992 DOI: 10.1126/sciadv.1600992