Simple Secrets to Great Communication #2 - Start With Why!

The Big Idea: 

"People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it." 

Simon Sinek

Whether talking with another person or presenting to a group of hundreds, we usually communicate from the outside in. 

The outside ring of our communications target is the "What". We talk easily about what we do or what facts, figures, and information we believe are important. 

Our second ring is the "How". We may talk about how something was accomplished or how we should move forward. 

Rarely do we talk about the most important ring: the bullseye of "Why".

As an example, consider this 30-second elevator speech:

At Stress Solutions, we teach people how to be top-tier communicators. We do this through formal training, personal 1-to-1 coaching, and application of video and audio recordings. Through this coaching, our graduates become powerful communicators and enjoy more success in every area of life.

Contrast this standard elevator speech with a second "Why" centered approach:

At Stress Solutions, we believe everyone has a special story that needs to be told. Our mission is to ensure everyone can share their special story, vision, and ideas in ways that enrich the world. We do this by helping every client discover, shape, and give voice to their story in a powerful and compelling way. As a result, clients become confident top-tier communicators who make a true difference in people's lives.

In this short TED Talk presentation by Simon Sinek, you'll learn the secret of communicating from the inside out by starting with your big "Why".

Simon Sinek - Start With Why - TED Talk

Learn to Communicate From the Inside Out

Stress Solutions will be announcing a very special online, "Heart-to-Mind Communications Mastery" training program in the coming weeks.

As part of this Communications Mastery training, you'll learn how to easily use this and other powerful communication methods to effectively inform, persuade, explain and even entertain as a Master Communicator.

To be among the first people to learn about this special way of story-telling and communication, send an email to CarterMethod@gmail.com with the subject line reading "Heart to Mind". When the program is announced, you'll be among the first to hear the news. 

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Steve Carter

Stephen Carter Stress Solutions, LLC p: 804-677-6772 | e:CarterMethod@gmail.com | w: http://www.EFT-MD.com

Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail!

Important Note: This and all other postings to this blog along with any statement or statements made in any podcast, audio, or video associated with this site are for informational purposes only. This and all other written posts and statements in any audio or video recording associated with this blog, Stress Solutions, LLC, or Stephen Carter are not intended to diagnose, treat, or otherwise recommend any treatment for any medical or psychological condition. Anyone using any of the information contained in this or any other posting, audio or video recording linked to this website or associated in any way with this website, with Stephen Carter, or with Stress Solutions, LLC does so at his or her own risk. You are urged to seek competent medical consultations with appropriate licensed medical professionals for any and all medical, psychological, emotional, or physical conditions.

Simple Secrets to Great Public Speaking - The TED Way

One of the most frequent challenges clients ask for help with is their fear of public speaking. 

There are a number of key Stress Mastery methods that do the job. I'll be sharing some of those methods in future posts, but I am choosing to begin this series on becoming a powerful communicator by sharing a short 8-minute video by TED Talk curator Chris Anderson. 

Chris shares the secret that all great TED Talks have in common. He talks about the power of ideas and how to present them in a clear, compelling way. 

His four guidelines for building ideas inside the minds of your listeners are:

• Focus on one major idea.
• Give your listeners a reason to care.
• Build your idea with familiar concepts.
• Make your idea worth sharing.

Chris expands on each of these guidelines in a way that brings clarity and understanding. If becoming a better communicator is important to you, I recommend investing 8-minutes toward your goal by watching Chris' talk. 

YouTube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FOCpMAww28

If you would like more information about how to apply simple, effective Stress Mastery methods to become a polished, confident presenter, visit us at www.EFT-MD.com. 

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Steve Carter

Stephen Carter Stress Solutions, LLC p: 804-677-6772 | e:CarterMethod@gmail.com | w: http://www.EFT-MD.com

Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail!

Important Note: This and all other postings to this blog along with any statement or statements made in any podcast, audio, or video associated with this site are for informational purposes only. This and all other written posts and statements in any audio or video recording associated with this blog, Stress Solutions, LLC, or Stephen Carter are not intended to diagnose, treat, or otherwise recommend any treatment for any medical or psychological condition. Anyone using any of the information contained in this or any other posting, audio or video recording linked to this website or associated in any way with this website, with Stephen Carter, or with Stress Solutions, LLC does so at his or her own risk. You are urged to seek competent medical consultations with appropriate licensed medical professionals for any and all medical, psychological, emotional, or physical conditions.

Escape the Trap of Meditation Spiritual Bypassing

One common trap that can block you from experiencing optimum meditation benefits is a behavior called Spiritual Bypassing.

Spiritual Bypassing

Spiritual Bypassing occurs when we use spiritual practices such as meditation to avoid uncomfortable emotions and problems. Rather than deal directly with difficult feelings or situations, we avoid them using meditation as a diversion.

How to Escape the Trap

First, recognize that virtually every one of us has fallen into the trap of Spiritual Bypassing at one time or another. We use meditation as a form of medication to try and dull or avoid painful thoughts and uncomfortable emotions.

Second, give voice to what is. Acknowledge you are dealing with a difficult situation. Bring the problem to awareness before entering into formal meditation. 

Sit with the problem and notice what thoughts and sensations arise. Simply allow any body sensations to emerge, peak, and dissolve in a nonjudgmental way. As you “watch” the thoughts and sensations, they will dissolve.

Entering into Your Formal Meditation Practice

Once the emotional storm has subsided, set the intention to be open to whatever insights and guidance may arise during your formal meditation practice.

Enter into the formal meditation session with no urgency or expectation that “the answer” to your problem will emerge. It may, or it may not. No matter.

Deal With the Problem

After your formal meditation session, deal with whatever situation you have labeled as, “the problem”. 

If insights or ideas about how to resolve it arose during meditation, great. If not, calmly move forward toward resolving the situation in a way that honors you and anyone else associated with the situation.

Additional Tips

For additional tips on dealing with stress using Emotional Freedom Techniques and Mindful Awareness, visit us at www.EFT-MD.com.

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Steve

Stephen Carter Stress Solutions, LLC p: 804-677-6772 | e:CarterMethod@gmail.com | w: http://www.EFT-MD.com

Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail!

Important Note: This and all other postings to this blog along with any statement or statements made in any podcast, audio, or video associated with this site are for informational purposes only. This and all other written posts and statements in any audio or video recording associated with this blog, Stress Solutions, LLC, or Stephen Carter are not intended to diagnose, treat, or otherwise recommend any treatment for any medical or psychological condition. Anyone using any of the information contained in this or any other posting, audio or video recording linked to this website or associated in any way with this website, with Stephen Carter, or with Stress Solutions, LLC does so at his or her own risk. You are urged to seek competent medical consultations with appropriate licensed medical professionals for any and all medical, psychological, emotional, or physical conditions.

Too Busy to Meditate? Try This 2-Minute Mindful Moment Break

The research is overwhelming. Meditation is a powerful, highly effective way to enhance physical and emotional well-being. But what if you don't have time to sit and meditate during your busy day? There is a 2-minute solution that will work for you!

Too Busy to Meditate?
Try the 2-Minute Mindful Moment Break

Perhaps you've tried meditation in the past and said something like, "It just doesn't work for me". Perhaps sitting in a meditative posture for 20 to 40-minutes a day simply doesn't fit your lifestyle. Trying to carve out 20, 30, or 40-minutes from a day already oversubscribed with too many "To-Do's" simply isn't going to happen.

The Good News 

Here's some good news: if you spend only one or two minutes an hour throughout your day de-stressing with easy Mindful Moment breaks, you can experience many of the same benefits enjoyed by those dedicating 30-minutes to an hour a day in formal meditative practice.

There are countless ways of adding Mindful Moment de-stressing breaks to your day. Here is one 3-step method to get you started.

Step 1 - Preparation:

First, set a reminder on your smartphone, computer, or other device to alert you once an hour. When you receive the alert - or as soon as safely possible after the alert - stop your work activity. Stand up, close your eyes, and slowly inhale and exhale three times. Open your eyes and take a few steps forward as you stretch, and yawn. Yawn and stretch two or three more times and then sit down or - if you prefer - continue to stand for step 2.

Step 2 - Come to Your Senses:

Sit or stand comfortably. Assume a posture that feels dignified and erect, but not stiff. Close your eyes, breathe in gently through your nose (mouth closed) and then exhale slowly through your nose.

As you continue to breathe slowly and comfortably with eyes closed, bring attention to your hearing. Simply "tune in" and notice. The first few times you do this, you will likely be surprised at how much more you hear when you bring awareness to the sounds around you. Attend to the sounds for about 10-seconds.

After attending to the sounds, shift your attention to your breath. Notice what aromas or scents you perceive. If there doesn't seem to be any identifiable scents, simply notice how the breath feels in your nasal passage as you breath in and out. Attend to your sense of smell for about 10-seconds.

Next, shift attention to your sense of taste. Notice what sensations are present in your mouth. Feel your tongue without moving it. Stay present with whatever sensations you notice in your mouth for about 10-seconds.

Now, allow your attention to move to your sense of touch. What temperature sense can you notice on the skin surface of your hands. Move awareness to your face. What sensations are present on the skin surface of your face? Move awareness to your neck and chest. Can you feel clothing touching your neck or chest? Just notice for about 10-seconds.

Open your eyes gently. Breathe in and out gently and allow your eyes to notice objects and their colors. Allow your attention to center on the shape, texture and color of whatever you see in front of you. Allow a soft, open gaze for about 10-seconds.

Again, bring attention to your breathing. Take two or three comfortable breathes, stretch and yawn one final time.

Step 3 - Return Attention to Your Daily Activities:

Congratulate yourself! You just completed a mindful meditation session using the Mindful Moment method.

Notice how you feel. Notice what's different. You'll likely feel far more relaxed, but alert.

You're now ready to return to your daily activities refreshed, renewed, and more creative.

For more Mindful Moment de-stressing techniques, email us at Stress Solutions, LLC, address CarterMethod@gmail.com. Your brain, body, and mind will thank you!

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With light and love,

Steve

Stephen Carter Stress Solutions, LLC p:804-677-6772 | e:CarterMethod@gmail.com | w:http://www.EFT-MD.com

Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail!

Important Note: This and all other postings to this blog along with any statement or statements made in any podcast, audio, or video associated with this site are for informational purposes only. This and all other written posts and statements in any audio or video recording associated with this blog, Stress Solutions, LLC, or Stephen Carter are not intended to diagnose, treat, or otherwise recommend any treatment for any medical or psychological condition. Anyone using any of the information contained in this or any other posting, audio or video recording linked to this website or associated in any way with this website, with Stephen Carter, or with Stress Solutions, LLC does so at his or her own risk. You are urged to seek competent medical consultations with appropriate licensed medical professionals for any and all medical, psychological, emotional, or physical conditions.

Want to Change Your Mood? Give Voice to Your Smile!

How often have you casually asked someone, "How are you doing?", and then heard them say, "Fine, doing great" in a flat low-energy voice. You know immediately how they really feel.

We can often tell where someone is emotionally based only on their voice alone. But what about our own voice? Can we self-detect emotional cues as we speak?

Emotional Voice Self-Awareness

In a fascinating study published in the "Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences", researchers had participants read a story while wearing earphones connected to an electronic device that manipulated each reader's voice. The voice was altered to sound happier, sadder, or fearful, as the story progressed. Participants heard their own altered voice through the earphones as they read aloud. 

Researchers tracked the emotional states of participants as they read the story. The vast majority of subjects never consciously detected that their voices were manipulated, but they did notice their emotional states change as they read the story. The story content was neutral. 

An interesting take-away for self-awareness is we are usually not conscious of the role our own voice plays in influencing emotional states. The good news is we can choose to listen with a mindfully tuned ear and change our voice to help change our emotions and mood.

Give Voice to Your Smile!

At age 16 I sold newspaper subscriptions for the "New York Times" by phone. The advice I received from my then manager is the advice that has been given to countless telemarketers for decades: smile!

When you smile - even if you don't feel like smiling - your emotions come along for the ride. People can "hear" a smile. You sound different because you are different. Your brain changes, your physiology changes, and your voice changes to reflect the "happier you". 

How to Develop the Smiling Voice Habit

Try this: Notice how you feel right now. Do a quick body scan and get a sense of your energy level and overall mood. 

After assessing your current energy level and mood, sit up in a dignified posture, look straight out with a soft focus as if looking at a sunset in the distance. Next, place a pencil or pen between your upper and lower teeth. This creates an automatic smile as you gently hold the pencil or pen in place for about 90-seconds. 

After removing the pencil or pen, notice how you feel. Do another quick body scan and notice what's changed. Do you feel more energized, happier, more centered?

Allow yourself to really feel the positive energy and sensations as you say to yourself, "smiling voice". Repeat "smiling voice" two more times as you smile". After doing this just a few times, you will find it easy to create this positive emotional state simply by saying, "smiling voice". Use this "smiling voice" anchor cue before making calls, talking with others, or anytime you want a quick emotional boost.

Remember these lyrics in the Frank Sinatra song years ago?

"When you're smiln, when you're smilin, the whole world smiles with you..."

Great lyrics and sound advice.

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*Study citation: Covert digital manipulation of vocal emotion alter speakers' emotional states in a congruent direction, Jean-Julien Aucouturier,PNAS, DOI: 10.1073/pnas.1506552113 

Stephen Carter Stress Solutions, LLC p:804-677-6772 | e:CarterMethod@gmail.com | w:http://www.EFT-MD.com

Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail!

Important Note: This and all other postings to this blog along with any statement or statements made in any podcast, audio, or video associated with this site are for informational purposes only. This and all other written posts and statements in any audio or video recording associated with this blog, Stress Solutions, LLC, or Stephen Carter are not intended to diagnose, treat, or otherwise recommend any treatment for any medical or psychological condition. Anyone using any of the information contained in this or any other posting, audio or video recording linked to this website or associated in any way with this website, with Stephen Carter, or with Stress Solutions, LLC does so at his or her own risk. You are urged to seek competent medical consultations with appropriate licensed medical professionals for any and all medical, psychological, emotional, or physical conditions.

Can Stress Affect Good Gut Bacteria? Ask a Squirrel!

Researchers have discovered a link between low stress and percentage of beneficial communities of micro-organisms in the gut and other regions of the body1.

While this study was conducted using red squirrels living in the wild, the same relationship between low stress and beneficial micro-organisms (e.g., good gut bacteria) in humans is probable.

Study findings show a direct inverse relationship between stress and the type of micro-organisms present. High stress increased the non-beneficial micro-organisms, while low stress correlated with a higher percentage of good micro-organisms.

Implications for Humans

What implications does this have for humans? Obviously, we know based on thousands of studies that chronic high stress is typically harmful for health. Our physical, mental, and emotional well-being suffer when a chronic high-stress environment is experienced.

Options for People

So what do we do? Research shows meditation and other stress lowering practices have proven to be beneficial for enhancing health and emotional well-being.

If - as this study suggests - high stress is associated with a less than beneficial balance between good and bad micro-organisms in the gut, exploring the use of a high-quality probiotic may be beneficial if stress is a problem for you. As always, consult your physician before taking any supplements, over-the-counter, or prescription medications.

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Link between stress, unhealthy microbiomes discovered: http://bit.ly/1ZPBO1m

Journal reference

1. Mason R. Stothart, Colleen B. Bobbie, Albrecht I. Schulte-Hostedde, Rudy Boonstra, Rupert Palme, Nadia C. S. Mykytczuk, Amy E. M. Newman. Stress and the microbiome: linking glucocorticoids to bacterial community dynamics in wild red squirrels. Biology Letters, January 2015 DOI: 10.1098/rsbl.2015.0875

Stephen Carter Stress Solutions, LLC p:804-677-6772 | e:CarterMethod@gmail.com | w:http://www.EFT-MD.com

Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail!

Important Note: This and all other postings to this blog along with any statement or statements made in any podcast, audio, or video associated with this site are for informational purposes only. This and all other written posts and statements in any audio or video recording associated with this blog, Stress Solutions, LLC, or Stephen Carter are not intended to diagnose, treat, or otherwise recommend any treatment for any medical or psychological condition. Anyone using any of the information contained in this or any other posting, audio or video recording linked to this website or associated in any way with this website, with Stephen Carter, or with Stress Solutions, LLC does so at his or her own risk. You are urged to seek competent medical consultations with appropriate licensed medical professionals for any and all medical, psychological, emotional, or physical conditions.

"I Complain Too Much!" - A Christmas Story of Gratitude

“I complain too much! I’m going to change that.”

Those were the words that greeted me when I answered a call from a client we’ll call Mary. 

“OK”, I replied. “What happened that caused you to conclude you complain too much?”

Mary's Story

"Earlier today I was standing in line at the food store. I noticed a lady in front  of me counting out change from a change purse. When I looked at her clothes, I saw she was wearing a worn shawl. It was cold and I remember thinking, ‘she should have a coat’.

"She placed a box of oatmeal and two cans of tunafish on the belt. When the clerk totaled up the cost, the lady looked at the coins she was holding and said in a flat, sad voice, 

‘I’m sorry, but I am 28 cents short. Please take off the box of oatmeal.’

Mary continued,

“I couldn’t stop myself. I said to the clerk, ‘Please go ahead and ring up the oatmeal. I will pay the 28 cents.

"The lady objected. She said, 'No, you don’t have to do that'.

“I said, ‘I want to pay for the oatmeal. Please accept it as a small gift for Christmas. I would also like to add this bag of tangerines I have here. Please, accept this as a Christmas gift’.

“The lady thanked me and walked off. As she was leaving, I looked down and saw she had a piece of duct tape holding the back of a shoe together. It was so sad."

Our Conversation About Mary's Experience

When she finished, I said to Mary, "You showed compassion for someone in need. That was very kind.”

“Maybe so”, she replied. “But why did I cry all the way home? I kept wondering if she had children at home that aren’t being feed properly. I then wondered if she had a pet she can’t feed."

Mary continued, “You know how many times I’ve complained about what I don’t have. I haven’t had a raise in nearly 10 years. I'm working a part-time job to pay for Christmas. Money is always tight. I’m always complaining.

“After this happened, I realized I may not have everything I want, but I have what I need. I have a house. My car is 15 years old, but it runs. I have a warm coat, food to eat and enough money to buy my cats food. Thank God I never have to choose between oatmeal and tunafish because I don't have 28 cents.

“Maybe I’ll complain later. Maybe not. Right now I feel very grateful for what I have.”

After my conversation with Mary, I thought about the many blessings in my life I am grateful for. 

What the Research Tells Us About Gratitude and Happiness

Research tells us the simple practice of writing down three things each day we’re grateful for helps increase our overall sense of happiness. 

Helping others is another way to raise our sense of happiness.

What three things or experiences today are you grateful for? Little things such as a lovely sunset, an infectious laugh by a child, or a special touch from a loved one all count.

Pass It Forward

Please share a smile with someone, drop a donation in a Salvation Army kettle, or buy a cup of coffee or even a meal for someone homeless. 

When you give someone else a reason to feel grateful, you can add that to your list as well.

May your holidays be blessed and joyous…

Love and light,

Steve

Stephen Carter Stress Solutions, LLC p:804-677-6772 | e:CarterMethod@gmail.com | w:http://www.EFT-MD.com

Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail!

Important Note: This and all other postings to this blog along with any statement or statements made in any podcast, audio, or video associated with this site are for informational purposes only. This and all other written posts and statements in any audio or video recording associated with this blog, Stress Solutions, LLC, or Stephen Carter are not intended to diagnose, treat, or otherwise recommend any treatment for any medical or psychological condition. Anyone using any of the information contained in this or any other posting, audio or video recording linked to this website or associated in any way with this website, with Stephen Carter, or with Stress Solutions, LLC does so at his or her own risk. You are urged to seek competent medical consultations with appropriate licensed medical professionals for any and all medical, psychological, emotional, or physical conditions.