How Can a Simple "Thank You" Note Create Emotional Wellbeing

Note: This post is a summary of the, "Mind Over Stress" Podcast, "Can a "Thank You" Note Enhance Emotional Wellbeing.

To listen to the podcast, click the player below or click the link if you don't see a player.

https://radiopublic.com/mind-over-stress-WDJEJ7/ep/s1!fe859

Photo of handwritten "Thank You" with pen

In this episode, you’ll discover why taking just two or three minutes to write a short note of appreciation can create positive feelings of self-worth for the person receiving the message AND for the person writing the message. That would be you!

What Research Tells Us About the Power of "Thank You" Notes:

So what does the science tell us about writing “Thank You” notes? Is it worth doing? Is it difficult? Who benefits?

What stops you from writing notes of appreciation? Does it feel awkward? Are you afraid you won’t know what to write? Are you concerned the recipient won’t really appreciate receiving that kind of message?

Researchers from the University of Texas at Austin and the University of Chicago published the results of their research into "Thank You" note writing in the journal, “Psychological Science”. They asked participants to write a letter of gratitude to someone who had done something special or nice for them. After writing the message, participants were asked to anticipate how recipients would react.

What were the results? Letter writers overestimated how awkward recipients would feel. They underestimated how surprised and pleased recipients would feel.

Dr. Amit Kumar of the University of Texas Comments:

Lead author, Dr. Amit Kumar, assistant professor in the McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas, said,

“We looked at what’s correlating with people’s likelihood of expressing gratitude - what drives those choices - and what we found is that predictions or expectations of that awkwardness, that anticipation of how a recipient would feel - those are the things that matter when people are deciding whether to express gratitude.”

He added anxiety about what to say and fear that recipients would misinterpret the intent, stopped many people from expressing gratitude to others. 

He continued, 

“What we saw is that it only takes a couple of minutes to compose letters like these, thoughtful ones and sincere. It comes at little cost but the benefits are larger than people expect.”

Your Personal Experience of Receiving a "Thank You" Note:

Think back to a time you received a note from someone expressing appreciation for a gift or something you did. How did you feel? What did you think about the person who wrote the note?

A Simple "Thank You" Note Template:

Here’s a template you can use to craft a short “Thank You” note:

First, think about the act of kindness. Allow yourself to really feel gratitude.

Use a simple, straightforward opening such as,

“Thank you for…”

“It was wonderful of you to…”

“I really appreciate you taking time and effort to…”

Add one to three sentences briefly describing the action, gift, or kindness. 

Close the body of your message with one or two sentences describing how the action, gift, or kindness affected you, such as,

“The flowers are beautiful! I feel so warm and loved every time I look at them!”

“I feel blessed to have you as a friend!”

“You really are a Knight in Shinning Armor! Your kindness is very much appreciated.”

End with an appropriate close such as,

“With heart-felt appreciation,”

“Warmly,”

“Blessings in abundance,”

Or other close appropriate to the person and your relationship with that person.

What's Next?

I encourage you to take a few minutes and write a "Thank You" note to someone who showed you kindness. You’ll boost their self-esteem and you will feel really, really good about acknowledging that kindness. 

To paraphrase the old joke about voting in Chicago, “Write early, and write often”. Your short notes of appreciation will go a long way to helping create a kinder, happier world one person at a time.

To hear other “Mind Over Stress” podcasts and to subscribe so you never miss an episode, visit us at www.MindOverStress.us. 

Stephen Carter | Stress Solutions, LLC | https://www.EFT-MD.com | "Mind Over Stress" Podcast: http://www.MindOverStress.us 

Sources and Resources:

“Writing a “Thank You” Note is More Powerful Than We Realize, Study Shows”

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2018-08-powerful.html

More information: Amit Kumar et al, Undervaluing Gratitude: Expressers Misunderstand the Consequences of Showing Appreciation, Psychological Science (2018). DOI: 10.1177/0956797618772506

Journal information: Psychological Science 

Feeling Thankful and Helping Others Do the Same

Listen to the podcast episode by clicking the player above. If you don't see a player, visit https://anchor.fm/make-the-world-a-better-place/episodes/Feeling-Thankful-and-Helping-Others-Do-the-Same-e2ki4s/a-a6kqj1

Recorded the day before Thanksgiving in the U.S., I share two things I'm grateful for that happened on that day: 

First, I share a summary of a session where I helped a client - herself a therapist - release fears associated with a medical condition along with eliminating any felt sense of physical pain. Secondly, I share my own feelings about receiving a message of appreciation from a client I worked with months ago.

Why I'm Feeling Thankful

My feelings of gratitude for the successful client session that day were magnified many times over as positive feelings created by receiving the note of thanks from a client I hadn't worked with for many months touched my heart and mind. 

How to Create Feelings of Thankfulness

I encourage you to take just a few moments and call, email, text, or - best of all - write a message of appreciation to someone who has touched your life for the better. They will be touched and grateful for your kindness.

As an added bonus, you will relive the positive memories associated with the person you're communicating with. You will feel wonderful as you make others feel wonderful because of your kindness.

Your thoughtful actions will truly, Make the World a Better Place.

To listen to other positive podcast episodes, visit www.MindOverStress.us

With light and blessings,

Stephen Carter

Stress Solutions, LLC | www.EFT-MD.com | Podcast: www.MindOverStress.us

Want to Create Positive Feelings? Ask This Question!

Positive questions call out positive memories and ideas

Do you want to create positive feelings in others and yourself with one powerful question?

The post below is a transcript of the latest, "Make the World a Better Place" podcast.

In this episode, you discover one powerful question that creates positive feelings immediately. This question directs the mind to recall specific memories of positive experiences, conversations, and emotions that make the person you ask - and yourself - feel wonderful. 

To listen to the podcast episode, click the audio player below. If you don't see the player, click http://bit.ly/2LuJwMb.

Now, let's "tune in" to the, "Want to Create Positive Feelings? Ask This Question" special episode transcript:

Our "Better World" Begins in a Hair Salon

We begin our story at a hair salon. And as I sat down in the chair to get my haircut, I started chatting with the young lady who has been cutting my hair for 10 to 12 years - quite a long time. I asked her if she had been on vacation. She said, “yes”, they had as a family gone to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

And it just came to me, a question: I asked, What was the best part of your vacation?". 

She thought for three or four seconds, and she said, 

“Well, the second day we were there, we walked out on the beach and we found this inlet. It was about seven o'clock in the morning, very few people were around, it was very pleasant."

"We found this inlet and as we looked at all of the teeming life in that watery inlet, we noticed crabs, little sand crabs that were running around. My daughter found an octopus. My brother-in-law found a starfish."

"It was just magic watching all of the life forms in that little inlet. We stayed there for the better part of two hours.”

As she was telling me the story, she was smiling; she was beaming; she was re-living the magic moments of that vacation.

How You Can Use The “Best Part…” Question

I invite you to do the same when you are in conversation with someone. And of course, if it is an appropriate time or circumstance to ask, ask, 

“What was the best thing about x? 

What was the best thing about your day? 

What was the best thing about that vacation? 

What was the best thing about your conversation with your daughter last night? 

What was the best thing about the visit with your grandchild?” 

This question is a powerful key to opening the vault of positive memories, positive experiences for others. You also get the benefit of enjoying their stories. 

Use the “Best Part… Question for Yourself

I also suggest periodically ask yourself that same question.

“What was the best part of my day today? 

What was the best part of my conversation with my coworker today? 

What was the best part of my morning and evening commute? 

What was enjoyable? What was fun? What was special?”

A Great Journal Question

If you like to journal, this is a great question to start your journaling activities. I encourage you to keep a journal. It doesn't have to be elaborate. 

Keep a journal about the most interesting or the most enjoyable three things you experience each day. It's a great way to end your day. 

Those psychologists who are steeped in the method of positive psychology will tell you that keeping a journal over time is the single best way to elevate your overall sense of happiness, 

Returning to conversations with others and with yourself, when you ask that magic question, “What was the best part of your day?”,  you are opening the vault - the energy vault, the fun vault, the positive memory vault for others and for yourself. When you open that vault, you truly do make this world a better place.

What’s Next?

Visit our website at http://MindOverStress.us. You’ll find more episodes of the, “Make the World a Better Place” podcast when you click the “Audio Podcasts” tab. You’ll also find episodes of the, “Mind Over Stress” podcast on the home page.

If you would like to create multiple positive moments throughout your day, learn about positive Emotional Freedom Techniques or Positive EFT, by visiting my website at www.EFT-MD.com.

Until we again chat, this is your host for, "Make the World a Better Place", Stephen Carter, asking you to please, 

…be well, 

…be kind,

…and be blessed.

Stephen Carter | Stress Solutions, LLC | www.EFT-MD.com

Listen to the audio podcast by clicking the player below. If you don't see a player, click http://bit.ly/2LuJwMb.

International Day of Happiness - How to Be Happier!

Listen to Podcast Episode


Listen to "International Day of Happiness - How to Be Happier!" on Spreaker.

March 20 is the International Day of Happiness. In this episode, you'll learn how this special holiday came to be and how it literally unites the world in the goal of increasing happiness around the globe.

Each year the United Nations publishes their survey of international happiness for each world nation.

The United States ranks 16th in the world with an average of 6.88 out of 10. This year's U.S. score is the lowest since the United Nations began publishing their International Happiness Report in 2012. Each year, the U.S. score falls compared to the previous year.

Who is responsible for ensuring people are as happy as possible, not only in the United States, but across the globe? While national governments can play an important role, the most important role has to be played by each of us individually. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness.

In this episode of the, "Weird and Wacky Holidays Show" podcast, you'll learn what the research tells us about happiness. You'll learn the single, most powerful action you can take every day to increase your sense of happiness and why that single action is so effective in creating your personal, "Book of Joy".

Stephen Carter | Stress Solutions, LLC | www.EFT-MD.com

"I Complain Too Much!" - A Christmas Story of Gratitude

“I complain too much! I’m going to change that.”

Those were the words that greeted me when I answered a call from a client we’ll call Mary. 

“OK”, I replied. “What happened that caused you to conclude you complain too much?”

Mary's Story

"Earlier today I was standing in line at the food store. I noticed a lady in front  of me counting out change from a change purse. When I looked at her clothes, I saw she was wearing a worn shawl. It was cold and I remember thinking, ‘she should have a coat’.

"She placed a box of oatmeal and two cans of tunafish on the belt. When the clerk totaled up the cost, the lady looked at the coins she was holding and said in a flat, sad voice, 

‘I’m sorry, but I am 28 cents short. Please take off the box of oatmeal.’

Mary continued,

“I couldn’t stop myself. I said to the clerk, ‘Please go ahead and ring up the oatmeal. I will pay the 28 cents.

"The lady objected. She said, 'No, you don’t have to do that'.

“I said, ‘I want to pay for the oatmeal. Please accept it as a small gift for Christmas. I would also like to add this bag of tangerines I have here. Please, accept this as a Christmas gift’.

“The lady thanked me and walked off. As she was leaving, I looked down and saw she had a piece of duct tape holding the back of a shoe together. It was so sad."

Our Conversation About Mary's Experience

When she finished, I said to Mary, "You showed compassion for someone in need. That was very kind.”

“Maybe so”, she replied. “But why did I cry all the way home? I kept wondering if she had children at home that aren’t being feed properly. I then wondered if she had a pet she can’t feed."

Mary continued, “You know how many times I’ve complained about what I don’t have. I haven’t had a raise in nearly 10 years. I'm working a part-time job to pay for Christmas. Money is always tight. I’m always complaining.

“After this happened, I realized I may not have everything I want, but I have what I need. I have a house. My car is 15 years old, but it runs. I have a warm coat, food to eat and enough money to buy my cats food. Thank God I never have to choose between oatmeal and tunafish because I don't have 28 cents.

“Maybe I’ll complain later. Maybe not. Right now I feel very grateful for what I have.”

After my conversation with Mary, I thought about the many blessings in my life I am grateful for. 

What the Research Tells Us About Gratitude and Happiness

Research tells us the simple practice of writing down three things each day we’re grateful for helps increase our overall sense of happiness. 

Helping others is another way to raise our sense of happiness.

What three things or experiences today are you grateful for? Little things such as a lovely sunset, an infectious laugh by a child, or a special touch from a loved one all count.

Pass It Forward

Please share a smile with someone, drop a donation in a Salvation Army kettle, or buy a cup of coffee or even a meal for someone homeless. 

When you give someone else a reason to feel grateful, you can add that to your list as well.

May your holidays be blessed and joyous…

Love and light,

Steve

Stephen Carter Stress Solutions, LLC p:804-677-6772 | e:CarterMethod@gmail.com | w:http://www.EFT-MD.com

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